Personal Journey

Through the eyes of 21-year-old me

I recently came across a journal entry from early 2016 that went something like this: 

God, I don’t understand what you are doing in my heart. I don’t understand how all of this is supposed to fit together. Photography, videography, missions, storytelling, kids, church, a lifestyle of love – all of this is welling up in my heart and I don’t know what I’m suppose to do with all of it…

Everything seemed like an unknown. I felt like I was holding a million tiny puzzle pieces that didn’t fit together or, if they did, the picture they made was confusing. How in the world were these things suppose to connect?

Little more than 2 years later, I’m sitting looking out my window at South African bush; every one of those things I mentioned in the journal entry now a part of my normal life in some way. I don’t share this to declare, “Look how far I’ve come!” I share this as an encouragement.

In the moment, it’s often hard to see the bigger picture.

Standing with those mismatched puzzle pieces in hand, it’s hard to imagine how they could fit together. In many ways, I’m still discovering it. And, honestly, there are probably even more questions now than there were before. But over the past couple of years, God has taken me on a journey of trust.

On this journey, I’ve learned that as I pursue growth, God is faithful to take care of the dreams He places in my heart.

Yes, it requires responsibility and ownership of those dreams on my part – but it’s not my job to force the puzzle pieces into place. I can pursue those dreams, grow those talents, and explore opportunities – but ultimately it’s God who brings the pieces together. It’s Him who brings order into a chaotic pile of seemingly mismatched pieces. I would have never imagined that I’d be where I am today. And I wouldn’t trade where I am today for any plan I could have dreamt up. 

I encourage you to take ownership of those dreams God has given you – but to hold them with open hands.

The process might seem messy. The pieces may not seem to fit together perfectly. But I know that He is faithful and the things He places in your heart will not go to waste.

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